Hole pounder

It used to be the case that social networking sites were predominantly littered with angsty, heavily eyelinered emo kids with their tattooed breasts out, and balding middle aged virgins with their cute wee semis tucked inside their yellowing pants. Most of these people were able to spell and construct a coherent sentence, but would sometimes self-consciously dabble in a bit of internet-speak. It would rarely get much worse than "Wot u up 2?"

However, the internet gradually became more affordable, and then Bebo was invented. Bebo was the Duplo to Myspace's Lego, and it thus invited a simpler breed of mind to latch onto the phenomenon of social networking.

Sometimes I will look at neds' Bebo pages just to see what they are chatting about, and to see how much more deplorable internet-speak (and general chat) has become.

Here is one example:

"AM ENGEGED
HiiD TAE TELL YoO
LOL
WiiT YoO BEEN DAiiN WAE YoORSELF...???
DoODLE BK
HiiV SUM LVE "

It's like reading dialogue in an Irvine Welsh novel. This person knows that "had", "to", and "doing", are the real words, but she wants everyone to know that this is how she talks in real life. I also don't doubt that she is aware of how to spell "you". Another thing I noticed is that some people say "lit" instead of "like":

"a no a wis lit tht"

And they write "cuttle" instead of "couple". I don't know if all of this is as interesting to you as it is to me, but I almost piss myself with incomprehension when I think of someone making the concerted effort to type "cuttle" instead of "couple".

It's not only their pronounciation spelling which makes for a good read; their patter in general is hilarious. I'm only going to post one of the things I read on a comments page, because it deserves to stand alone.

"awrite gawjuss...a wid pound the hole right aff u"

Surely if you pound a hole it's only going to get bigger?