When you live in Glasgow, there are certain people who you see all the time roaming the streets. I always see: a wee old Chinese lady who wears a pale blue bucket hat and looks like a tortoise; Psycho Cowboy, who has bulging eyes (one bigger than the other), always wears a big hat & has a gammy leg; Electric Lily Savage, the lovechild of Electric Scarecrow and Paul O Grady; Red Mohawk guy (does my head in, I try not to look at him); and Trampy, the alcoholic homeless guy who used to sit on my step but has since moved on to Sauchiehall Street.
During the past week I have seen an interesting lady on a couple of occasions who I’m eager to add to the canon of Glasgow celebrities. Her name is Bummy* (see fig.1), because her tummy goes all the way down to her knees, and it sort of looks like a backwards arse; like someone is crouching inside her clothes and facing her fanny. I told my mum about Bummy and she was like “Oh that’s a shame, that must be really uncomfortable”, and she’s right- it is a shame. But it is a fascinating body to look at.
*
6 comments:
Good shout. Hate those aprons. Also, my greatest fear in life... longboob. When they become tubular and swing by the waist.
That's fantastic! Do you know Kneely? The lady who alternately sells the big issue and kneels down on Sauchiehall Street, seemingly praying for money to be thrown into her beggar's cup? I love her. Also, I am pretty sure this story is about her daughter.
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/2008/04/07/father-tells-of-fears-after-15-year-old-girl-goes-missing-86908-20375300/
Fuckin tell the world about fast guy already. I canny wait anymore. I have so many fast guy jokes. you could do a monthly blog on fast guy!
I have taken the photos of my favourites but they are gone in my flickr for me to show you. I'll describe him though, incredibly old man who walks around town holding a bike with his wife. Never seen him riding it... the bike I mean.
As for Kneely... God bless her.
I have been told stories of the old bums, and they all had one very helpful talent. Like bums would memorise bus services and predict arrival times for you if you asked, just for some change. Another used to clean Queens Street bridge with any rag or paper lying nearby. Now its all the ones who just hold a Macdonalds cup that they have obviously tried to eat until its a wee stump. And even if you give them a quid they pocket it and look even angrier afterward.
A picture tells a thousand words eh? :)
Did you know that the Electric Scarecrow has a myspace?
Scarecrow's Myspace
I see him around Shawlands quite a bit, in fact yesterday I saw him 'sans' jester hat for the first time and sporting the most masseev afro!
What about the blind guy who used to play keyboard down in Argyle street with his rather hirsute wife/friend and the strange old woman with the dyed orange hair who used to collect the money? Haven't seen them for a while.
I LOVE KNEELY!!!
JB, I will do a fast guy blog soon. I'm brewing it like a jobby.
Stef, I haven't seen blind keyboard guy in ages either. Know who I always see though? Wee boy busker who only plays Wonderwall. I'd quite like to have a chat with him.
I had her once. Toughest G spot I ever did find.
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