Bawbox

Just thought I'd let you know about a game I made up at work with Dave. The name of the game is "Bawbox". Get yourself a cardboard box, and write BAWBOX on the side. Loads of people can play this game, and each contestant should have 4 balls, roughly tenny baw size. It's best if each contestant has a different colour of balls (haw haw).

Put Bawbox anywhere you like. For beginners I suggest keeping it at ground level maybe 6 metres away, but to make it harder you can put it on top of shelves/units. Each contestant must take it in turn to throw one of their balls into Bawbox. The aim is to get all your baws in the box.

However, we have devised a list of manoeuvre/outcome names for most circumstances that can arise while playing the game, so that it's fun even if you're crap.

SUMMARY OF BAWBOX OUTCOMES & MANOEUVRES

0 BAWS= NAE BAWS
1 BAW= HITLER
2 BAWS= BAWBAG
3 BAWS= FANNYBAWS
4 BAWS= FULL BAW
WHEN BAW ALMOST GOES IN= RIM BAW
WHEN BAW FALLS DOWN BACK= BAW BACK
WHEN BAW GOES MISSING= BAW HIDE
WHEN BAW HITS SOMEONE IN THE FACE= BAWJAWS
WHEN CONTESTANT CAN USE BOTH HANDS= AMBAWDEXTROUS
WHEN ALL CONTESTANTS GET ALL BAWS IN BOX= BAW DEEP

If you can think of anything else to add to this list, leave a comment with your idea. Fyi, I am terrible at Bawbox and normally my end score is a Hitler.

Princess Tiana

Angelina Jolie can finally stop whining about her daughter, Zahara, not having a black Disney princess to idolise, because Disney’s latest film “The Frog Princess” features Princess Tiana (below).



Of course, Disney is a corporation with a racist reputation (that is definitely not a line from my forthcoming rap song Disney Sound Good); Walt apparently hated Jews, and many people have nitpicked their way through Disney cartoons to find anything that could be construed as racist. Some of it I can totally see (the Siamese cats in Lady & the Tramp being shady; the fact that the monkeys in the Jungle Book are the only animals with African-American accents), whilst some is a bit tenuous (the implication that in Snow White, white equates to purity & beauty, whilst black (the Wicked Witch) is evil; this is something so ingrained in society that it goes much further back than Disney films).

Anyway, because of this reputation, it is no surprise that the whole black princess issue has caused some controversy. Do you want to know where the bone of contention lies? It lies in the fact that Princess Tiana falls in love with a white prince. People are raging because they feel that a white prince is a cop-out; it’s Disney’s way of keeping the racism alive by saying that a black prince wouldn’t suffice for the black princess, because white men are better. What are they going to say next? That the “frog” in the film title is actually Disney-speak for “wog”? This does my head in! If the prince was black, people would bitch that Disney was suggesting that black people should stick to their own race. I think their choice of a mixed-race relationship is great- it signifies acceptance.

And by the way, Angelina, while I totally understand your daughter’s need for a cartoon character she identifies with, everyone knows that Belle from Beauty & The Beast is where it’s at.